When in Doubt, Walk to Church

I think it goes without saying that when people are angry, they are more likely to do something stupid and reckless. In the same way, when a disciple is fed up with nondiscipleship, they are prone to radical actions. Both applied to me yesterday. Being angry and fed up, I did something that was stupid, reckless, and radical. I left my house without a word and followed a path I had never even set foot on before, putting one foot in front of the other until I was completely and utterly lost. My thoughts were: "If I loose my way, i'll go back the way I came and it will take me where I want to go." and "It doesn't really matter where this road leads, as long as it gets me away from here." As I went further and further from home, crossing in and out of the woods, over a stone bridge, out of my neighborhood all together, and down the main road, I realized that turning back and going the way I came was not an option. After several hours of seemingly aimless walking, my legs were aching. I hadn't stopped anywhere, I hadn't eaten anything the entire day, and I felt sick. I just wanted to be home.


I kept walking. Walking and walking and walking. Down the road, past power lines, by speeding cars. It was like I was going to walk until I died. Then, everything started to look familiar in the strangest way. There were things I thought I recognized, but I was in a place I had never been before. But something told me to keep walking, so I did. Eventually, I came to a sign that told me where I was, and an indescribable relief washed over me instantly. I was headed towards my church.


I had been gone from home for about 4 hours at that point with no water. 4 hours of walking, no water, middle of summer in 95 degree heat... Like I said, Stupid and reckless. So my main line of thinking was to get to the church to get water. It was a while before I finally reached it, and when I did I was praying that the doors would be open because I was extremely dehydrated. Low and behold, the doors were open, and the church was empty and dark. I stumbled in, drank my fill from the fountain, and entered the main sanctuary. I was alone. The only light was bleeding into the room through the large stained glass cross, all was quiet. And that's the point where I thought, "Maybe this walk about wasn't such a bad idea after all..."


It's the people that make the church, but theres something about being in the house of God that is absolutely wonderful. I stood in the quiet for a while, feeling at peace and at home in this place where the word of God had been preached and the Holy Spirit had dwelt. There is nothing like it.


Is this what I need to do? Just get up, get out, and follow God wherever he takes me? Does it matter that I was lost? Because I am found now. I am found in the best way possible. I've been feeling called to something more for a long time, but this experience just encouraged me all the more to be who I will become. That's why I am starting this blog. That's why i'm making sacrifices and leaving everything behind, because this world needs more of us. It needs more radical disciples. I would encourage you to venture into the uncomfortable. Go after Jesus with everything you've got, because the cost of nondiscipleship is even greater than the cost of following Him. Be brave enough to say "I'm here Lord, send me." Because when you do, He will send you, but He will also guide your footsteps. And even when it feels like you are lost, and you are tired and thirsty, and weak... Remember that He knows where you are and how you feel. If you are still filled with doubt... Just walk to church. It helps.